I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
