Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
