I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
