was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You need a sexual gate keeper
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
