I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
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