This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
