we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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