i think i have two assholes
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
