Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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