Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Randomize
