My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
try to milk me bitch
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