oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
