You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize
