I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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