she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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