We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
of course. lets lasso hookers.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
