i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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