What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
