can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
her facebook's as public as her vagina
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
