she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
