U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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