and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
