Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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