Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
