You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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