happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
