Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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