Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
