Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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