Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I intend to get homeless drunk
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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