He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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