In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
