If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
