I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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