im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
