Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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