omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
