I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Brb crying the tears of my youth
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
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