she was so not down for the gang bang
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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