google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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