i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
