Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
They left me at home... I'm a liability
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
