Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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