38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
