Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
