I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
