I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
