i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
