I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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