let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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