Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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