Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
