My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize