I wanna bring you to show and tell
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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