Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Randomize
