I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
We had to coat check the pizza.
We talked him into tasing himself.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Randomize
