She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
