yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
